The Obedience Fallacy
Why Teaching Your Dog “Commands” is Keeping You Stuck
In the dog world, “training” is an incredibly vague word. You can train a dog to do a million different things, and the approaches, tools, and end goals can vary wildly. From fancy obedience and sports and service dog work, to simply stopping your dog from jumping on guests or pulling on leash, training is never a one-size-fits all kinda thing. Yet, most owners approach it exactly that way, expecting basic commands to solve complex behavior issues.
The Obedience Fallacy
I find that when most owners think about dog training, they think of obedience. Obedience is teaching a dog specific commands that control what their body is doing. Sit, stay, down, and heel, are probably the most common obedience commands out there, and usually the first things (and only things) that dog owners focus on teaching. Obedience commands can be helpful in certain situations and are often pretty easy for most owners to teach their dogs (at least on a basic level). But obedience is just one TINY part of the massive sea of “dog training”, and fails to actually solve most problems that owners face on a regular basis. Obedience isn’t the same as behavior, and focusing on the former is exactly why so many owners are still stuck.
Obedience doesn’t teach your dog how to navigate day-to-day life.
Obedience doesn’t change how they feel about the world.
Obedience doesn’t build trust.
Dog behavior isn’t black and white. Behavior is often layered and can be nuanced and goes way beyond the 4 quadrants. It’s not just about rewarding and punishing or making a dog hold a sit; it’s about actually understanding our dogs beneath the surface and figuring out what they need to actually feel good and be successful in our lives.
So what should owners be focusing on? Raising a well-adjusted dog. But what does that mean?
What is a “Well-Adjusted” Dog?
A well-adjusted dog is mentally and emotionally stable. They are resilient, have good social skills, have boundaries, can cooperate, can quickly recover from stressful situations, feel secure, and trust their owners. When you have a dog who is well-adjusted, that’s going to reflect in their behavior.
You don’t get a well-adjusted dog by teaching them basic obedience commands. You get a well-adjusted dog by adjusting your entire mindset when it comes to dogs, and learning a whole bunch of things that most people don’t even think about. Moving from a transactional/obedience-based mindset into a holistic/behavioral mindset requires a shift in the following areas:
understanding dog body language
understanding how dogs communicate
proper exposure and socialization early on
regulating the nervous system
helping them work through hard things
building your relationship and their trust in you
building their confidence
incorporating structure and boundaries on a daily basis
making sure they are physically and mentally fulfilled
living with them in a way that gives them clarity and sets them up for success
Yeah, it’s a lot. I know. And in order to do this successfully, it requires that we, the humans, make changes in ourselves and how we live with our dogs.
And that’s hard.
So what most people end up doing is focusing on teaching their dogs obedience commands instead. Because teaching your dog to sit is quick and easy and makes us feel like we accomplished something.
But when “sit” and “paw” are the only skills your dog has, your dog isn’t going to be able to live the big, fulfilling life that they were meant to.
Think about it: if you focused on teaching your child math and science, while ignoring their need for routine, structure, proper sleep, social skills, emotional support, and problem solving in the real world (you know, all the skills that they need to be actual functioning members of society), they might get good grades in school, but they aren’t going to very well-adjusted, and daily life is going to be a struggle.
But for some reason, this is the approach we take with our dogs.
Let’s take a step back for a second: When we bring a different species into our lives, it’s important that we actually take time to learn about that species in order to live with them in a way that promotes their health and well-being. Leaving your dog to just “figure it out” likely isn’t going to work out for you, or them. Dogs are not humans. They navigate the world differently than us. They don’t speak English. A lot of things we do with other humans to be polite and social (such as making eye contact and hugging), dogs can view as threatening and confrontational.
Without learning some basic principles of dog psychology and behavior, any amount of obedience training that you do with your dog isn’t going to actually matter, because obedience alone doesn’t create dogs who are secure, regulated, confident, have healthy social skills, and feel good in their world. Telling your reactive dog to sit and look at you while a dog passes by, doesn’t change the way they feel about that other dog, and is actually going to make things worse in the long run.
Think about the goals you have for your dog. Maybe you want them to stop pulling on leash, maybe you want them to come back to you consistently every time you call their name, maybe you want them to be able to relax inside your home (or the car or anywhere else). In order to achieve those goals, obedience might play a small role in shaping the physical body, but the other, much more important components to successfully achieving these goals in a reliable and sustainable way, also require the owner to actually understand their dog as a species and address the underlying issues.
If your dog doesn’t come to you when called, that’s actually a relationship issue.
If your dog lunges and barks at other dogs on a walk, that might be a lack of clear communication.
If your dog can’t settle in your home, that’s likely a nervous system issue.
The Hard Truth
Here’s the thing: Addressing all these other things takes time. There aren't any shortcuts. It is a lot of work and it requires you to rethink the way you live with your dog. It means foregoing what is convenient or feels good for us in the moment in order to do what’s actually best for them.
That might mean less couch cuddles and being more strategic with affection.
It might mean driving to a different location instead of staying in your neighborhood.
It might mean slowing down and letting them work through discomfort without you rescuing them every time.
It takes effort. But once you have a dog who is truly well-adjusted, who can make good decisions and can navigate their world with confidence, it’s absolutely worth it.
So instead of thinking that you should use obedience, or simply correct or reward your way out of a behavior issue, take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Find a trainer who actually understands dog psychology and goes beyond the obedience fallacy and HIRE THEM (Hi, that’s me!). It’s only when you shift this perspective and start to focus on the things that actually matter, things start to click and living with your dog gets easier.
If you’re ready to start that journey, I teach all of this and more in my 6 Week Hybrid and Virtual Programs! Head to www.somdogtraining.com for more info and to get started.